It just gets all too much. I'm sick of pretending. sick of lying. I can't keep this false mask of security. It's too hard now.
I'm not ok
I'm not happy
i'm completely alone in this stupid world and no one cares a little bit.
I have no friends, i have no family i can see.
those friends i did have are all gone. No one talks to me anymore. no one asks me to hang out, or go to the movies, to have a sleepover. I haven't been to a party in ages. No one's invited me.
And if i removed all the people who would actually talk to me on facebook, i would say i would have less than 10 people left there. And not even all them would talk to me, they are just people i would leave in a kind of respect.
hell in the last 2 weeks. As far as i can remember. I have only got texts from 4 different people and 1 phone call. Call from my mum, texts from Mum, Dad, my 'boyfriend'/room mate and matthew.
pretty sad.
and i think the only people to talk to me on facebook has been my dad, mum and matthew.
i love my job. but nothing else is worth it. i'm miserable. i'm alone. and i'm sick of kidding myself that my life is going to end up better, that i'm going to make up for having done nothing. i know it's not.
Your forgetting me. I talk to you as often as i can. It may no be often but i still try. I know how you feel since you andt rose left i dont have any friends. I think about mwling plans to hang out but you arr so far away it is hard. You say you are happy with your job well that is great as soon as you have more time you can make more friends. If that doesnt work at lesst you know your parents care i have been away since tuursday and i rid not get one text from home.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry we haven't talked on facebook in so long. I think the royal wedding was the last time. but we shouldn't go out of touch, because that would majorly suck. you've been my best friend for a long time, especially as far as friends go for me, and i don't want to lose that :/ i'll try my hardest to come and see you in the holidays :)
ReplyDeleteHang in there! I felt like that a lot last year - taking yourself away from the people you love and have spent the last at least 5 years with can be super hard!
ReplyDeleteAs long as you have one thing in your life keeping you happy!
Anyway next time we are on facebook we should try to have a catch up!!