Operation Motivation...

This is a plan to get myself up and ready to start completing some of my dreams and i invite/challenge everyone to try it as well.

First up you need to think of a dream, something you want, or a goal you have or a mixture if they are in the same 'genre'. For me, i'm going to start with:
'I want to complete nanowrimo'
'I want to publish a book'

Next up, think of a way to start getting you motivated to do these. BUT remember you have to learn to crawl before you can walk or run (this is the whole philosophy, if you will, of Operation Motivation). There is no point in saying 'right! tomorrow i will plan out my novel and start writing it so it can be published' i have tried and failed with that approach many times. instead this is what i vow to do:

'Starting today i will write a 500 word, short story everyday. It will based off 3 random words i get from a random word generator and i will publish this story on Protagonize so i can get feed back'

In a weeks time i will review this and see if i can challenge myself further. After awhile i might decide to boost that up to 1000 words a day when i'm used to writing 500. 1000 words a day is just under the daily average of 1667 words you need to write to complete the nanowrimo. When you complete a nanowrimo, you essentially have written a novel.
See how everything builds up to that ultimate dream?
If you are finding it difficult you can always go backwards a bit, slow it down and give yourself a slightly easier challenge.

Well, i'm off to write my first 500 word story. Wish me luck =)

Explanation

The last few days i haven't been very motivated to do anything other than just play games on facebook, so i have decided to start what i will call 'Operation Motivation' because it sounds cool. This is going to be all about getting me slowly used to doing things, other than sitting on my butt all day, that will help move me towards completing one of my dreams/wants/goals. Before i go any further however i would like to clarify a few things about this blog.

So far i have gone through my life being very thoroughly average and avoiding doing anything interesting with my life. I've heard stories from friends and strangers about the awesome things they have done and wished i could be the same interesting person they are. I've looked at all the kids who get straight excellences at school, that get to be house leader or school president and wished i could be like them and succeed. I've never wanted to be average, frankly i don't think anyone wants to be that, yet whenever i get the chance to do something interesting i avoid it or wimp out or i just don't put myself up to the challenge. I want that to change now, to actually get up and do the things i want to in life and not get left out and have any more regrets. This blog is to help me keep motivated and to remind myself of that.

Rose, you said in your blog that you don't have a proper dream or anything that achieving it would be a highlight of your life.
My dreams which i post here, won't necessarily be an absolute highlight of my life and nor are they all really proper 'dreams' as such. Some things are just things i want, i would like, i think would be fun or cool to do or try etc. and i most definitely won't start pooping rainbows and happiness by completing them. So far i have just said the bigger things, but i will eventually get to the smaller stuff too like: 'i want to get a motorbike' or 'i want ice cream'

Everyone has dreams, wants and goals, even if you don't recognise it consciously. And if remember correctly, i was very good friends with a girl who last year wanted to go to university so much that nothing anyone could say would stop her. She is now at uni, and seeming to have a blast.
Wasn't that a dream?
Which is now complete?
And wouldn't the next 'dream' be to finish her B.A. ?

At work

I'm currently at work on one of their useless iPads. It reminds me of how much I hate Mac stuff. The on screen keyboards are terrible for typing, and especially since I partially touch type. It adds random letters in all the time because I keep accidentally brushing other 'keys' with my fingers, AND if that wasn't bad enough it keeps editing my words because apparently I'm not intelligent to write what I want how I want. FU Mac trying to take over our world with you idiocy.

So yea I had a meeting today to check up on my apprentice stuffs. Kinda in trouble cause I'm too confused and lazy so my papers aren't finished yet. Now I'm just waiting in the staff caf on a company iPad for work to start. I should probably go earlier to get my papers finished. But I can't be assed.

Omg man, I try to click on a word to edit it and the stupid thing closes my post edit. Grrr
So sorry about the crappy grammar and spelling on this post. Blame the mac crap.

Stevens back

Well not too much has happened to me in the last couple days, except from being extremely tired. Steven got back after 6pm and we sat around home for awhile, just being glad to be together again. Then, since we are both so very lazy, we decided to go out to have dinner.
We ended up at a italian/pizza restaurant, i can assure you i will never go back there again. They sat us right next to the toilets, even though there was other tables available at the time, it was extremely noisy as there was a birthday party going on right next to us. The base of the pizza was too soft so you couldn't even pick up the pizza and we weren't given plates, they also gave us our chips at the same time so there was no room on our table. We had two waiters try to serve us and another waiter just dumped a glass of coke on our table that we hadn't ordered without saying anything. Yet another waiter came over and asked if everything was alright, when we both had pizza in our mouths. The fanta we ordered was way over priced and tasted like slightly flavoured water. All in all, it was such a shitty experience that i never want to go back.

Now what i really wanted to post about is some things my friends have said, though i could be here all day writing and i have to go to work soon and i should be doing my papers, so i'll wait till later.

I wish i wish...

i was a fish...
Jokes.

But here are a few more things which i do really wish for.

• I want to be a chef

I really should have mentioned this earlier, as i'm already on my way to completing this one, though this is just the start of a long chain and is connected to me wanting to be a cafe/restaurant owner. For those who don't know,  i'm already training as an apprentice chef, i'm in my first year out of three and every 10 weeks i get moved into another kitchen. Meaning i get lots of experience doing different things, but also means that i have to readjust my routine and meet new people every 10 weeks.
I've always wanted to be a chef, even when i was a kid, but mum put me off by saying about the long hours and weird times you have ot work. I decided sometime last year (or the year before) that i'm really not that great at anything other than cooking and so being a chef would be the only thing i would be able to successfully do as a career.

• I want to do beading and wire wrapping

Seeing pictures of what people make on sites such as deviantart are truly amazing and inspirational. Ever since i saw the first few pictures of what wire wrapping was, i've wanted to do it. And now having gone to the craftexpo and made a beaded charm bracelet it feels like i really do have my foot in the door now and can start learning how to make the beautiful pieces of jewellery i drool over. It's a lot harder than  it look though and often the work gets very fiddly. I hope with a lot of practice i can do well and possibly even sell pieces of jewellery.

• I want to be a house wife and mum

Ok, this one might just sound lame to a lot of females out there, however, to me, the desire for being a stay at home mum, looking after babys and making meals for my husband is above and beyond that of pretty much all my other dreams. It's also the dream that creates a whole lot of issues.
I want to have kids young (say early to mid 20's) becuase it is the best time biologically to have kids, i don't want to be really old (and have a beard) when my kids are in high school and i want to see my grandkids grow up, possibly even great-grandkids. That's when the problems kick in, if i want to have kids young, i will have to sacrifice whole lots of other dreams or postpone them until a time where i might not have time to complete them.

Guess i'll just have to find a balance, just like everyone else on this earth.

Thank god for energy drinks

I got piss all sleep last night, i just couldn't seem to fall asleep until about 11pm. Which is terrible considering i had to wake up at 2am. Well i did fall asleep really easily to start with, dozed off during the ads while watching the Simpsons, but then steven texted and woke me up.
It seems i'm having to rely on energy drinks in the morning to keep me awake during work. Though the trouble is, is that it often wakes me up a bit too much and makes me all bouncy.

Once i got over the first depressing hump of the day (waking up, getting to and starting work) i rather enjoyed myself. The more serious chefs were away so it was a lot more relaxing and i wasn't being hounded to go faster every two seconds. I made an awesome dressing, which contains saffron and orange juice (as well as other stuff of which i cannot disclose) and it turned a very happy bright yellow. It brought a smile to see such a pretty coloured food.


I decided to make my beaded watch today. I'm quite happy with the results and it matches the charm bracelet very well. I love this whole beading thing, and it's fun to start doing something i've wanted to do for awhile. Though i'm going to have to make a new blog post now to explain a couple things mentioned in the previous couple =P

My 'weekend'

Sadly i had to have my days off on the days that Steven would be off on a buisness road trip to rotorua, and i've been kinda depressed being all alone in the flat. But yesterday i was hugely cheered up by one of my besties, Rose. It's interesting how different and more wild my friends seem to get when they stop going to school and move out of home, however i still feel like i'm the same boring person. I want to get out and party a bit more so i can share some shocking and funny stories when we catch up. Though i already have a boyfriend who i'm settled with and if some tiny hints i've picked up on are correct (which being me probably aren't) then he may not be my bf for too much longer =D And i'm not too big on binge drinking either, i think i had enough of that at emma's 18th birthday party last year, which ended up with me spending the whole morning outside throwing up in her garden.
It sort of feels like i'm already an old lady in some ways, just wanting to settle down and have kiddies whilst eating healthy and worrying about skin cancer.

Today for distracting entertainment i went to a craft expo. I woke up really grumpy, missed my train because i couldn't find my keys in time, had a tantrum and strormed off home. On the way home i decided i was being really silly and that my day probably wasn;t ruined, even though i missed the class i wanted to do. So i stopped past countdown, grabbed some food, moisurising sunblock (cause i'm paranoid about skin cancer) and toothpaste (cause i ran out)
So after a train ride, a bit of a walk and accidently going into the wrong place and ending up in a make up /perfume sale, i was at the craft expo.

I had so much fun and throughly enjoyed my day. I got to make the charm bracelet in the class i wanted to go to, brought a beading starter kit, a beaded watch kit, and some beads to get me started. So all in all, the day didn't end up too badly and i managed to get throughly distracted from steven for a few hours.

Now if only i didn't have to work at 4am tomorrow and steven was home, everything would be perfect.

Trying to find a balance

The best thing i can possibly do at the moment is find a balance in my life, but right now it seems like all i'm doing is working, walking, eating fast food and sleeping, with a fews hugs and kisses from steven in between.
After work i really can't be bothered to do much of anything and so now i'm on a fast food binge. I really can't remember when the last time i cooked dinner was, which is terrible and it's doing nasty stuff to my health.
I'm constantly tired, i'm sure it's giving me stomach problems and on top of that i think i might have packed on a few kg's since i left home.
I promise i will cook dinner tonight, with vegetables, and potatoes. Though problem is, there is nothing in the way of meat in the tiny freezer. I haven't been food shopping in over a week either, i just can't be bothered when i get home after 9pm.

Last night i worked late again, i didn't finish till 9:10pm. I ate some left over pizza then had a nap before steven woke me up so we could go get food. Naturally we ended up at mcdonalds..... again.....

I also want to fit in writing time everyday (i'm managing to fit in blogging time, but that's only cause i can't be bothered getting ready for work and i can't access my drafts on protagonize) and i would love to have time to go out partying too. Oh and time to finish my papers for work.

I think on my days off this week i will do a bit of sring cleaning on my life and habits, and plan a menu for the next week.

Selling my soul for $12.75 an hour

On Saturday night i went out for a bit of fun with my boyfriend, Steven, and his work mates. We started off by going round to Steven's Boss' house and having a few drinks then headed off to a rugby game (Warriors vs. Eels) I don't like or watch rugby so it was pretty lame to begin with, but after awhile of soaking up the atmosphere (and the massive flames they kept firing on our side of the field) it was actually kinda fun. Afterwards we went to a bowling place and had a bit of a competition. I was having heaps of fun but had to go home at about midnight because i had to start work at 10am.

Work yesterday was a nightmare.
Being constantly told you are too slow is NOT fun and even worse when you are tired and sore as heck from bowling late at night. To make it worse, we were incredibly busy so instead of finishing at 6:30 i finished at 8pm and today is apparently is going to be the same.
Now the thought of doing overtime and getting more money seems pretty good, but then i remember i'm only getting paid $12.75 an hour.
Which is kinda what i was getting on about with the whole title of this blog.
We all essentially sell our soles for some ridiculously small amount of money and i'm asking myself. 'Is an hour of MY time really only worth $12.75?' and i do don't even get the full amount of that because of paying taxes and money going into kiwi saver. So i only get around $10 an hour. To put that in perspective, that's about 4 packets of lollies, or a loaf of bread, margarine and a tiny jar of spread.
Is using up an hour of my life really worth that little?

It hardly does much for my self-esteem when i think about it like that.

One step forward

Now i'm feeling a teensy bit motivated i'm going to make a vow that i will complete a NaNoWriMo this year. For those who don't know, NaNoWriMo stands for National Novel Writing Month. People from all over the world try to write a 50,000 word novel in one month and the whole point is not to get so caught up in the finer details of writing but to just write and keep writing. I have wanted to do this for years but i always forgot or got intimidated out of it so this year i will complete my dream

• I want to complete a NaNoWriMo novel

 I'm hoping this will get me even more motivated to get into writing so i can practice and one day complete another dream

• I want to publish a novel

I will also be getting back into Protagonize, which is an awesome site i found last year and started working on but lost motivation not long after. If you want to take a look at my profile, it's here. On top of that i will also post all of my stories on Deviantart (my profile)

Hopefully all this will keep me motivated for once =P

Another day, another dollar

Been working flat out all day at work. I'm not enjoying it as much as i thought i would before i started, its tough to stay enthusiastic when everything you do is wrong in some way and when it is being done right, you're too slow. I got pretty upset yesterday after getting ripped into all day about how i was wasting time and being slow when i wasn't. It's made me doubt whether or not i really want to be a chef but i really do want to learn how to cook properly for a restaurant to fulfill another dream of mine

• I want to own a cafe or restaurant chain

My mum and dad gave me the idea for this in fact when they were trying to convince me not to be a chef in a typical restaurant. This is probably one of my more achievable dreams, if i work hard and learn of course.It's just the motivation i lack right now.

As my dad has always told me, there is no such thing as a free lunch (or in this case no fulfilled dream without hard work)

4 of my dreams

i really do not know where to start. I've had so many dreams, so many things i've wanted but i guess above all

• I want to be a famous writer

Ever since being asked in year 8 by a teacher if i have ever considered being a writer, i have REALLY wanted to be one. It was the first time i had been complimented honestly on my writing. I always liked my stories and i got ok marks for them but it was always someone else who said they wanted to be a writer and that they were so much better than me that put me off. It's one of my biggest regrets, saying 'no' to that question when i really meant 'yes'

I suppose the next thing won't be as big of a shock considering my addiction to the internet and love of writing

• I want to be a famous blogger

It sounds silly, but so are most of my dreams. It just seems appealing to have people WANT to read your random ramblings online and actually get a response to them, and to have people challenge my thoughts, striking interesting conversation points.

• I want to be a famous gamer

Also probably sounds silly to you non-gaming/internet types. I remember when i was first getting into gaming, everyone instantly knew certain aliases and greeted them whenever they came onto the server. Those pro gamers are revered amongst their crowd much like David Beckham is for footballers or Dan Carter for rugby players (and silly little girls who for some reason find him attractive)
I just think it would be cool to hold some sort of stats when i join games and not just be ignored like a n00b for once.

• I want to do game developing

Being heavily addicted to The Sims got me wanting this. I would so love to be included in the development of some of the biggest gaming franchises (mainly Sims and The Elder Scrolls) it wouldn't have to be making the games either i would so love to just be a tester, voice actor, quest writer or idea-thinker-upper-er. Even if it wasn't for a company itself, just being a high level item/clothes/building/model/map creator would just be so sweet.

Well these are just 4 for now. i might do some more later but right now i REALLY need to get the dishes done =)

New Beginnings

So i've been out of home, away from my parents for 3 months now and i think it's time to be 110% honest with myself and all my friends who i so sorely miss. I have a ridiculously long list of things i want to be and do in my life and most of you won't even have any idea that i wanted to do that.
It's time for me to stop sitting on the back bench and make some of my crazy dreams come true. I have so many things i've regretted in my life, things i wish i had done, things i hadn't and things that could have happened just a little differently.

I guess i'll never be truely happy with my life so far, but i want to at least do a few spectacular things that not everyone does.